Diversity Study Abroad Scholarship | A Difficult Truth

This essay and my reaction to it is exactly the same as the Financial Need Scholarship post, the only difference is the analysis I do on the scholarship itself at the end of this post. 

Okay, in this post I'll just be talking about the essay I submitted in 2018 for the Diversity Study Abroad Scholarship/Financial Need Scholarship.  I did not receive this scholarship, and after that one and only submission I decided not to apply again--I'll explain this later.  I wrote these essays after I submitted my essay for the general UMN Study Abroad Scholarship.  I wrote this because I wanted to submit something better than my UMN Study Abroad Scholarship essay.  Also, I actually utilized the writing center for this essay--which I recommend everyone do.  

The prompt for this essay had two parts.  The first part is exactly the same as the general UMN Study Abroad Scholarship--and in my opinion they should have stopped there.  For the second part, the prompt encourages you to detail how the applicant adds to the diversity of the UMN campus---which makes complete sense, right? (sarcasm)

But here was my response to the first prompt:

"(1) I selected the Solidarity & Community-Led Transformation in South Africa program for personal growth as well as academic and professional development.  As a Global Studies Major with a focus on the region of Africa and a Social Justice minor, learning about and participating in a liberating and community-led program excites me, because the experience I’ll gain will serve as a strong foundation for social justice activism.  These transformations are community-based and enriched by South African culture and history which blends perfectly into what I hope to study.  (2) I’ll research the racial minorities in my own society, their individual and collective histories, and how their art and culture has been influenced by any oppressive history.  This program will be a good opportunity to embark on my academic career. 

On a personal and professional level, I think going to South Africa will be a transformative experience.  The systematic racism that plagued the country in the form of apartheid for over fifty-years was obliterated by a beautiful yet terrifying revolution.  The history of oppression in South Africa so readily resonates with US history that has yet to be recognized by our government, society, and sometimes denied and ignored by ourselves.  (3) The lack of recognition and proper historical representation of persons of color is still prevalent, making it difficult to understand the different approaches to make social change. 

The events in South Africa can illustrate the potential progression to take towards equality in the US.  South Africa was able to identify and tackle systemic inequalities especially regarding race and sexuality in the fifteen years after their revolution, more than what the US has been able to accomplish in the one-hundred-fifty years since the Emancipation Proclamation.  (4) By learning about how their society approaches its history and how they allow it to better their future, South African society gives me some ambition that maybe liberation will not be impossible to establish if we adopt the right values and principles as a society.  Finally, the most challenging thing about studying abroad for me will be the separation from my family, but I think having this ambition will help me check my reservations.  (5) I do not fear challenges, nor being tested; rather I fear living in ignorance and acceptance."

Here are 5 criticisms I made about this essay:

1.    This wastes words, they already know what program I'm applying to and what I'm going to write about.

2.    This is not a good explanation of what I planned to research.  In fact, it doesn't really make sense because I didn't say anything about how this connects to South Africa.  I could have better connected what I'm currently learning about with the program location.

3.    So at the beginning of this paragraph, I should have just said this is a personal goal.  Also, this sentence isn't specific enough.  People of color in which country?  I should have even listed racial/ethnic groups specific to South Africa.  Also, what social change?  I don't specifically list a system of oppression that I want to look into.  At the end, I forgot to connect this to me personally--I never say I'm a person of color in this paragraph and why that matters.

4.    Is this a personal, professional, or academic goal?  Why?  I think I meant this to be a professional goal, but I never tied it to any previous experience I had nor any field I hoped to get into.

5.    I didn't summarize the main reason why I wanted to go on this specific study abroad program.  I could have brought in specific aspects of this program and better linked it to my staple motive for going on this program.

Alright, like I stated above there was a second part of this essay.  The second part states:

 "For the purpose of this scholarship, diversity may include (but is not limited to) cultural, gender, sexual orientation, disability, age, first generation college students, military, ethnic or racial identities that contribute to the diversity of the student body.

How have your diverse backgrounds and identities influenced your decision to learn abroad?  What challenges and growth opportunities unique to your identities do you anticipate throughout your time abroad?  How might your lived experiences prepare you for these challenges? (350 words maximum)." (Diversity Scholarship, 2020)

Analysis of this Scholarship:

Now, the essay I wrote for this part of the scholarship I deleted shortly after I submitted this application because I didn't want to dwell on what I wrote.  I didn't like showcasing how I triumphed over my barriers to people I don't know--or how I still haven't overcome certain barriers.  Many of the challenges unique to my identity that I anticipated to face abroad were the same I was currently facing as a first-gen student of color at the UMN.  

It was hard enough to deal with the racism, intolerance, and ignorance I was facing on campus, let alone what I might face abroad with a smaller cohort of students.  On top of that, I was very doubtful that the on-campus problems I wrote about were going to be addressed.  So, after I submitted my essay to the second half of the prompt I deleted it.  After I learned I wasn't chosen for this scholarship, I chose not to apply to it again for my Kenya program in 2019.  Instead, I made a response essay--that basically detailed the feelings I'm sharing in this blog--along with an analysis which I've condensed below:

1.    First, the second prompt to this scholarship can still be triggering to students.  I say still because the prompt was updated from my interactions with it in 2018, but even after its update it is still problematic.  I'm going to focus on and breakdown the questions posed in the prompt.

 One, a student's background or identity potentially has no impact on their decision to study abroad.  Or two, the influence someone's background and identity had on their motives can be a sensitive topic.  For many students, asking about the 'challenges' they could face while abroad is basically asking what prejudices, discrimination, and/or biases do they expect to encounter. 

 Using the wording 'growth opportunities' lets me know that they aren't looking for an authentic reaction but an unrealistic, opportunistic response.  The wording makes it sounds like they want to hear 'Oh well I'm Black and the racism I experienced is a 'growth opportunity' because I learn to live with intolerance and if I encounter that abroad I'm prepared to face it since it was a part of my lived experience.'  Like no (lbs) that's ridiculous.  I look at this question and I'm like it shouldn't be here.  If a student wants to talk about their lived experience because it honestly has something to do with their decision to learn abroad, then go right ahead!  But it should be unprompted.  

Not every minority has some prolific narrative that influences their decision to chase opportunities that are readily promised to non-minorities.  Just because this is a 'diversity' scholarship doesn't mean they get automatic access to our narratives.  Our motivations aren't intrinsically tied to our identities all the time.  Asking a student to talk about their 'challenges' can put them in the position to write about something they're not necessarily ready to face which can be triggering.  No one is entitled to your story, period.  Don't make students potentially re-traumatize themselves for a little piece of change.  If you want to provide an opportunity that helps student's overcome their financial barriers and is equitable for students with diverse backgrounds, then just have the scholarship available with a standard essay prompt. Let them decide if they want to share their lived experience.

2.    Second.  Okay, I got this info after venting to my major advisor about my feelings on this scholarship--and let me tell you she dropped some TEA.  My major advisor actually used to be an essay reader for this scholarship, and she was very upset with how they manage this scholarship and shared her experience with me.

 So the prompt has a 'but is not limited to' line that is a huge discrepancy (Diversity Scholarship, 2020).  Basically that line gives ANYONE who feels like they have a diverse identity the chance to apply to this scholarship if they--and I quote from her--"adequately express it."

The example she gave me was even a wealthy, cisgender, straight, able-bodied, white male who is an--let's say--engineering major can apply for the scholarship under the justification that engineering majors don't typically study abroad and this can add to the diversity within UMN engineering student body--in an experiential sense.  Now pause....and pause again.

 Yes, I'm just as behooved as you.  

I asked for clarification and she--as an ex-essay reader--said they were not allowed to 'measure' student's identities against each other to determine who would need the scholarship money 'most'.  When she was an essay reader, they told her that they were to judge applications on which student most eloquently and 'adequately' expressed their 'need'/background/identity using the guidelines of the prompt.  I was like 'so basically which student wrote the best essay in a technical sense.' She said yes, and whoever actually answered the prompt best.  

This is frustrating because the students who usually are most efficient in English writing are the same students who do the best on the ACT and SAT's (hint, hint).

Also, it's exasperating because I know there are student's who are writing deeply personal narratives about their experience with classism, xenophobia, and/or homophobia.  Or they're writing essays about traumatic experiences.  Or they're writing essays about overcoming, fighting the odds, or just becoming as a minority.  And at the same time their narratives could be read next to essays from students who are non-minorities that happened to have adequately 'othered' themselves to qualify for this scholarship.

So, basically this scholarship is the definition of institutions focusing on equality and not equity.

I don't agree with this judging method and that's why I refused to apply to this scholarship.  However, if you do want to apply to this scholarship here are my suggestions to answering the second prompt:

1.    Answer the question.  Make a chart that gives bullet points to each question so you know for certain you answered the prompt fully.  You would be surprised by how many people don't actually answer the question because they get caught up in their writing.

2.    Connect your answers to your academic goals/motivation.  The point of learning abroad is to actually do some learning.  You can say that you want to experience a 'different culture', but I guarantee you and 100 other students are saying the same thing.  I would suggest making a connection between your past research/courses, your major, your program location, and your program's specific courses.  The trick is to also connect all of these to your personal, lived experience as the prompt wants.

 For example, I could say 'I'm a student in the Institute for Global Studies with a concentration in Cultural Production in Africa.  I've researched in ABC course how actualizing culture in education can liberate community narratives, specifically in the African American community.  As a Black woman I have stakes in the fruition of the Black community, and I believe studying cultural production through MSID Kenya's XYZ course will enlighten my research in ABC.' 

 Then I might talk about my experience in the education system as a Black student in MN--a state that has one of the worst education system for students of color in the country--and how that has motivated my academics.

You know, you don't have to stick to telling a a personal story about your life if you don't want to.  If you do, that's great.  I don't have many suggestions because I personally haven't figured out a way to do the same.  But this brings me to my next suggestion:

3. Utilize the writing center.  Now--not everyone is going to tell you this--but in my experience not every consultant from the writing center is the same.  Find one you trust.  Get to know them first to see what their lens and biases are as well as their strengths.  I had a specific person I went to when I was writing my biology papers and I had a person I went to when I wrote a paper on imploding nationalism and infiltrating the capitalist system in education so we can eat the rich (If you're reading this, Hey Susan!).  Also, don't be afraid to ask them their political views or whatever you need to make you more comfortable.

But otherwise good luck!

I recommend reading the post Financial Need Scholarship to read about this scholarship process and overall suggestions for you. There is no sample essays in the next post because I submitted the same essays for both the Diversity Scholarship and the Financial Need Scholarship.

Citations:

"Diversity Study Abroad Scholarship." Learning Abroad Center, University of Minnesota, 2020,

https://umabroad.umn.edu/students/finances/scholarships/diversity

If you want to learn more about MN's educational system:

US Department of Education. (2017). Public high school 4-year adjusted cohort graduation rate (ACGR), by race/ethnicity and selected demographic characteristics for the United States, the 50 states, and the District of Columbia: School year 2016 B17. Retrieved from https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5bcf36627eb88c3c3ce6cdc9/t/5ca370bca4222f904203df8c/1554215103346/ACGR+Graduation+Data+-+Overall+and+by+Race+Ethnicity+2016-17+NCES+Data.pdf