UMN Study Abroad Scholarship | A Roll of the Dice, IMO

Ah, the general UMN Study Abroad Scholarship.  There are literally so many students who apply to this scholarship every term I can only imagine the amount of redundancy essay readers encounter.  This scholarship has the least restrictions regarding who can apply, so if I'm being honest you just have to be precise and truthful for this scholarship.  Make your essay stand out.  My best advice is to really think about why this specific study abroad program would help you to achieve your goals.  Do not just write general benefits of studying abroad, but write why every aspect of this program aligns with your goals.  In your essay, write about this program like it was made for you. And this might sound dumb, but answer the question/prompt.  A lot of students actually forget to do that.

Below, I provided a copy of both my essay submissions from when I applied for my trip to South Africa in 2018 and Kenya in 2019.  In my first attempt at applying, I did not receive this scholarship and at the end of the essay I copied below, I'll be talking about what I think I did wrong.  In my second attempt at applying, I did receive this scholarship and at the end of that essay I'll be talking about what I think did alright.

The essay prompt is this: 
"What motivated you to select you particular study abroad program?  Address any academic, career, and/or personal goals that were part of your decision, and expand on one or more of them. (350 words maximum)" (Study Abroad, 2020) 
 
My 'Unchosen' Essay from 2018:

"This program was ideal because it focused on social justice, which is a topic I hope to further explore while in college.  (1) It is important to incorporate social justice and its history into my academics because social issues very much control my world.  As a black female, the history of my race and gender in this country was harrowing to say the least; and the systematic oppression created to keep these demographics down is still active today.  (2) It’s active and still growing not only for these demographics but for many others this is a daily reality.  South Africa also has an interesting history because it’s a country that attained perfect racism, yet it was still able to revolutionize.  Though it is still amending, (3) South Africa is a country we can learn from because of what it was able to do.  That, in a sense, is what I hope to accomplish in my personal and career goals.  I want to get rid of this white savior complex that the US seems to have and instill that we can learn from all cultures.  (4) My interest is in anthropology and what I hope to do in that discipline is shake people’s understanding of a so-called under developed country.  Then, I plan to mend that agitation with cultural enlightenment while instilling the idea that we are all developing through our history and we can surly learn from one another. 

(5) My biggest challenge in this program would be letting go of my cultural glasses and trying to become immersed in the culture within the short period of time I will be there.  We all have cultural relativist engraved in us, and as a cultural anthropology enthusiast this is the first time I will be attempting to suspend my own moral judgement.  (6) The success of overcoming this challenge depends on how well I adhere to the advice given to me by my professors and their experiences in the field."

 

 Whew, chile...now that I read this back I can definitely see that it was rough.  I'm actually questioning if this was my final draft...but whatever the gist is here.  I highlighted 6 major points that I think made this essay not work.

  1. The essay question asks for my motivation in choosing my program, and the academic, career, and professional goals behind said motivation.  I first stated an academic goal.  The problem there was that it wasn't very specific.  I didn't mention any previous social justice courses that I took or any research that I've done on the topic.  Also, I made statements that could have came from any student.  My motivation wasn't specific to me.  I would suggest that any academic goals you list, tie it to work you've previously done or are doing.  For example, I could have referenced a paper I wrote on the South African apartheid and then followed up with how I specifically wanted to take that research further.  What helps is if you write a chart of the goals you have and then expand on them in your essay.
  2. This second segment just underscores how broad my statements were in this essay.  This could have come from any student's essay about any program.  I should have specified which system of oppression I was specifically interested in and why.  Then, tie it to either an academic, career, or personal goal.
  3. I missed a big opportunity here to talk about what I knew about South Africa's history and my academic relationship with it.  In this sense, I could have connected it to my academic goals for this program.
  4. This statement seems to have nothing to do with what I previously mentioned.  I eventually changed my major...which is besides the point...but what I should have done was talk about how my studies in cultural anthropology would become enhanced through this program.
  5. I don't think I have to say much about this statement.  Honestly, it is so vague and predictable in these types of essays.  I think when I applied to this essay, one of the questions were what are some challenges that I would face during study abroad--or something like that--and I think this can be the worst answer because it is so predictable.
  6. I 'answered' my challenge by putting the weight on my professor instead of expecting to find the answer within myself.  If you have a challenge you want to list, it should be something individualized.  You don't have to give an 'answer' to the challenge, but you do have to show how you plan to overcome it.

I think if I were to go back and talk to myself, I would encourage to make a chart that list my academic, professional, and personal goals with this program.  That could have really individualized my essay. 


My Chosen Essay for 2019:

"I am a student in the Institute for Global Studies with interest in African diasporic studies, cultural production, and museum education. (1) I believe that community-centered representations of history and culture can be liberating to the otherwise colonial history of educational oppression. Although Africa is an uncommon undergraduate area of study and non-traditional study abroad location, as a Black woman I have stakes in the fruition of the Black diaspora.  Sub-Saharan Africa’s history of economic development can serve as an example of how important it is to center local voices in all institutional spaces. (2) There has previously been an over-promotion of Eurocentric development paradigms, which begs the question of how they have impacted Kenyan culture. Though I have studied these connections, I could take my academics further by experiencing the paradigms first-hand. I would be able to better understand the links between Kenyan cultural productions and economic development. (3) So sub-Saharan, East Africa is a region that has academic and personal interest to me.

Two core components to this program is the Swahili language and internship study, which are both huge opportunities. I believe (4) understanding how cultural identity is maintained through language will inform the dialogue of professionals, especially in a country with such a complex language landscape, with indigenous languages and two national languages - Swahili and English - that are valued differently in education and professional spaces. In alignment with my previous experience as a MN Historical Society Museum Fellow, I hope to be placed in an internship with an arts and education development NGO where I’ll gain a more global perspective on how institutions function.

The MSID Kenya program would expand my understanding on sub-Saharan African development and its impact on society.  The program would also increase my credibility as a museum professional. (5) One of my biggest aspirations is to attend a museum studies graduate program, which would make me the first in my immediate family to go to graduate school. I want to further study how African diasporic communities in the US can liberate their voices in museum spaces by making connections with museum spaces in the motherland."

  1. I listed my major, then I went into the specifics of my area of study and how it connected to the program.
  2. I tie what I know about Kenyan history to what I want to know.  I tie my academic goals to the specifics of the program and make it seem like the answers I'm looking for will be found through X,Y, and Z aspects of the program.
  3. I was kinda all over the place in my last essay, so a beginning and end statement that summarizes the paragraph--like this one--can be very helpful.  
  4. This paragraph really ties into a point I made earlier about making it seem like this program is made for you.  Read your program's guidebook and find value in specific aspects.  Also, if you talk about career goals, also mention any previous professional experience that would benefit you in this program.  Remember, don't stray too far from your previous paragraph.  I talk about cultural and history throughout my essay, so it's good to keep a streamline theme.
  5. End your essay summarizing what you said and then end strongly.  If you want to hint to your identities or background kind of like I did you can, but don't feel obligated to showcase them if it doesn't align with your goals.  End your essay by reiterating your ultimate goal, why did you chose this program?

As I read this essay, I can see the spots that could have definitely been stronger but it was still good enough to catch the eye of these essay readers.  This essay is a condensed version of my Gilman Scholarship essay--which is much longer.  I also submitted this same essay to the PES Engagement Scholarship, so that post looks very similar to this one.  But I hope this was helpful as you apply for this scholarship, and don't forget to utilize the writing center!

I recommend reading the post Diversity Study Abroad Scholarship to read about this scholarship process, the winning and losing essays I submitted, and overall suggestions for you.

Citation:
"Study Abroad Scholarship." Learning Abroad Center, University of Minnesota, 2020, https://umabroad.umn.edu/students/finances/scholarships/studyabroad

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